Category: Parenting

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Making the Most of Your Children’s School Holiday

With the year-end school holidays upon us, it’s time for children to enjoy a well-deserved break after a year of hard work. If you’re a parent of a MILCHELian enjoying this holiday season, read on for tips to make the most of this precious time together.

First of all, children are naturally drawn to gadgets and could easily spend all day on screens if allowed. But you can guide them towards more meaningful activities by planning, suggesting, or even joining in! Every family has different levels of flexibility and availability, so remember, it’s all about balancing your responsibilities at home and work.

The single best tip is to focus on quality of activities over quantity. Quality means asking a few key questions: Will you spend time with your child in person? Will this activity expose them to new learning experiences? Will they have the chance to try or see something new? If so, it’s a great choice.

An overseas trip is a wonderful way to spend quality time together. First, traveling brings the family together in a new setting and encourages bonding. Secondly, it offers new cultural and culinary experiences that expand your child’s view of the world. Finally, whether it’s a first-time visit or a favourite destination, there’s always something exciting and fresh to see.

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But if a trip abroad isn’t possible, there are many ways to create meaningful memories close to home. For one, you can take your child to a theatre play and introduce them to the world of performing arts. Attend a concert featuring a band they admire and show that you value their interests. Furthermore, you can try a new restaurant together, sharing a new culinary experience, or cook something special at home. Let your kids join in on grocery shopping, meal prep, and even cleanup. Finally, for a cozy option, start a movie marathon or a new series together on your favourite streaming platform.

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The options are endless, and there’s no shortage of ways to spend meaningful time with your children this holiday season. We hope these ideas inspire you to create joyful and memorable experiences with your family this year-end!

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Managing Kids’ Screen Time

In today’s digital age, screen time has become an integral part of children’s lives. While technology offers valuable learning opportunities, too much screen exposure can have negative consequences. Excessive screen time has been linked to issues like poor sleep, decreased physical activity, and impaired social skills. To ensure children grow up healthy and well-rounded, it is crucial to maintain a balanced approach to screen time and other activities.  Here are some simple strategies to manage kids’ screen time: 

Set Clear Screen Time Limits

When kids think they can use their devices for an unlimited period of time, they will happily do so.  It is important that parents set clear screen time limits for them.   As a general guide, 7 to 8-year-olds may get 1 to 1.5 hours screen time per day.  9 to 10-year-olds may get 1.5 to 2 hours per day.  11 to 12-year-olds may get 2 to 2.5 hours screen time per day.  13 to 14-year-olds may get 2.5 to 3 hours screen time per day.  15-16-year-olds may get 3 to 4 hours per day. 

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Encourage Outdoor Activities

Kids need to get outdoors, get some fresh air, and be exposed to some sun.  Get them away from their gadgets by engaging in outdoor activities.  This can be as simple as walking around or playing sports.  These activities need not be competitive.  You don’t even need to get a sports coach if you don’t want to.  Put on your shoes and spend some outdoor time with your kids.  This will be good not only for them, but also for you. 

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Designate Tech-Free Zones

There are times when outdoor activities are not possible, so there’s no choice but to stay indoors.  When this happens, you can assign tech-free zones at home.  Tech-free zones are places where kids and adults are not allowed to use gadgets.  A common tech-free zone at home is the dining area and the bed.  During meal times, discourage phone usage and encourage healthy conversations among family members.  During bedtime, try not to let kids use their gadgets so they can be ready for a good night’s rest. 

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Maintaining a healthy balance between screen time and other activities is essential for children’s physical, emotional, and social development. By setting clear limits and encouraging outdoor activities parents can help their kids cultivate a well-rounded lifestyle. Creating screen-free spaces will further reinforce the importance of balance. With these strategies in place, children can enjoy the benefits of technology without sacrificing their health and well-being.

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Character Development and Academic Success

Aside from physical health, there are two other utmost concerns of parents when it comes to their children.  These are their character development and academic success. We all want our children to grow up as good people who possess qualities like kindness, responsibility, and integrity.  At the same time, we hope for their academic success so they can have a bright future ahead of them. This article will explore how character development and academic success are intertwined, with the former influencing the latter.

To delve into this concept, we will examine three character traits that a child must possess and how they contribute to academic success: self-discipline, resilience, and empathy.

First, self-discipline leads to better time management and study habits. Self-disciplined children are more likely to complete their schoolwork on time and balance their academic responsibilities with other aspects of their lives. Overall, consistent effort driven by self-discipline results in improved academic performance.

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Second, resilience helps students persist through difficulties and setbacks they encounter in their studies. When they receive poor grades or fail an exam, resilient children bounce back instead of giving up. A child with a strong sense of resilience views challenges as opportunities for growth, leading to long-term success.

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Finally, empathy enables students to collaborate effectively with their peers. This ability to work well in groups is a crucial skill in today’s academic environment. For instance, group projects and peer learning benefit greatly when students practice understanding and respect. Over time, strong collaborative skills, developed through empathy, contribute to success not only academically but also in future professional settings.

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In conclusion, these are just three examples of how character traits contribute to academic success. Indeed, character development is as important as the grades we see in our children’s report books. Therefore, fostering character development from an early age should be a priority for both parents and educators, as it directly impacts children’s academic success.

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Overcoming Communication Barriers with Your Teen

There are times when a child, especially a teen, stops talking to their parents.  Such withdrawal is concerning and very challenging.  Possible reasons for such behaviour are: the teen is seeking independence; the teen is experiencing emotional changes; the teen is experiencing stress and anxiety and could not express it well; there are conflicts and misunderstandings at home; and the teen may be feeling unsupported or judged and thus shuts other people down. 

When this happens, it is understandable for a parent to be worried.  Still, you have to step back and analyse the situation.  There is no one single solution to this problem, so we’ll talk about a three-pronged approach that could possibly work. 

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First, reflect on your communication style.  We always talk about teens needing to have self-awareness, but parents need to have high self-awareness too. Are you harsh and judgmental when you speak to your teen?  Do you focus too much on the negatives and downplay their achievements?  Are you impatient?  There are times when a child’s actions are just their response to their parents’ actions.  Reflect on your communication style and see if you could be part of the problem. 

Next, after reflecting on your communication style, create a safe and open environment for your child.  Ensure that your home is a safe and judgement-free space where your teen will feel comfortable to talk.  Truly allot time listening to your child.  Keep your gadgets away and give your teen your full attention.  Try not to aim so solve the issue immediately.  Sometimes, it may take a while for your child to really open up.  Patience is key. 

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Finally, if all else fails, it may be time to involve a trusted third party.  It could be your parents or your siblings.  Sometimes, teens may find it easier to open up to someone outside the family.  You can get help from your pastor, a therapist, or a counsellor.  Sometimes, a third party can be like a coach who can see your family issues from a different, unbiased perspective.  They may be able to facilitate you and your child patching up your relationship since they will not be taking anyone’s side. 

Remember, the goal is to reconnect with your teenager and create an environment where they feel safe and valued. While the journey may be challenging, patience, self-reflection, and the willingness to seek external support can make a significant difference. By understanding the underlying reasons for their withdrawal and taking proactive steps, you can rebuild your relationship and foster a more open communication with your teen.

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Strengthening English Foundations Through Parental Support

The importance of a strong command of English in a student’s tool kit cannot be overstated.  This is especially so for foreign students studying in Singapore, like Milchelians.  Many parents want to send their children to study overseas to learn English, but the child will face difficulties if they are unready to live in an English speaking society. 

Whether or not the child is already in Singapore, parents can effectively support their children in building a strong English foundation.  Here are some practical tips that parents can try out. 

Create an English-Rich Environment.  Like what we do in Milchel’s English Reading Programme (ERP), we immerse Milchelians in as much English language as possible.  Constant exposure through texts, videos, and music helps students become familiar with the language’s sounds, vocabulary and sentence structure.  Consequently, thus will make learning English more natural and less forced. 

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Encourage Reading.  With as little as 20 minutes a day, students who read gain a competitive advantage over students who do not read at all.  Reading consistently for shorter periods of time (e.g. 20-30 minutes a day) has been found to be better than a once-a-week reading session of 2 hours each.  Space out your child’s reading schedule throughout the week.  It is also very important that you discuss the books with your child.  This practice will help improve their vocabulary and comprehension.  Moreover, this stimulates their imagination and critical thinking.  Remember:  Quality is more important than quantity when it comes to reading. 

parents and their little son reading a book in bed
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Practice Writing.  Encourage your child to write regularly.  Though it’s no longer popular among children and teens nowadays, keeping a journal is a good practice for students who want to improve their command of the English language.  Slowly, they will become comfortable and gain confidence in their daily journal writing.  Later on, this comfort and confidence will translate in writing more complex texts like essays and reports. 

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It is important to start small when building an environment for your child aimed at building strong English foundation.  “Small and steady, slow and incremental” is the formula you could follow.  It would be unrealistic to expect immense improvement in your child’s English standard in a short amount of time.  Like in any other goals, consistent effort and patience will pay off in helping your child achieve their goals to achieve a good command of the English language. 

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Goals of Parents and Goals of Children – Reconciling the Gap

A common point of contention between parents and children is their differing goals.  A child may have their own goals and dreams for themselves.  Then, a parent may have a completely different dream for their child.  Reconciling this difference is challenging, but possible.  This article explores the distinction between parents’ goals from children’s goals.  We will also talk about how to bridge that gap and foster a supportive environment with regards to the children’s aspirations. 

Parents’ goals for their children are usually shaped by their life experiences and long-term perspective.  They desire financial stability and focus on providing for the family.  On the other hand, children’s goals are influenced by their immediate interests and curiosity.  Many still desire exploration and play without the burden of providing or planning for the future.  This already shows a vast difference in parents’ and children’s perspectives and priorities. 

Parents’ goals for their children are also usually long-term, including career advancement and future family stability.  On the other hand, children may only have short-term goals, such as making friends, pursuing hobbies, or succeeding in school. 

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In terms of achievement and success, parents’ measures are the over-all well-being of the family, career accomplishments, and contributions to the society.  For children, on the other hand, success is defined through academic achievements, mastering new skills, and other personal milestones.

No one goal is completely better than another.  Both parents and children have valid perspectives.  The goal here is to reconcile the differing goals.  Having open communication is a great way to do this.  Both parents and children should feel comfortable discussing their aspirations and concerns.  Both sides must not only express their thoughts freely, but also listen actively and not be defensive.  Whatever the children eventually decide to pursue, the parents must trust in their children’s discernment, knowing that they had done enough to teach and guide their children. 

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Reconciling the differing goals of parents and children is essential for creating a harmonious family relationship. By fostering open communication, mutual respect, and understanding, both parties can work together to support each other’s aspirations. Parents should trust in their children’s ability to make informed decisions, while children should appreciate the wisdom and experience their parents offer. In this way, families can bridge the gap and build a supportive environment where everyone’s goals are valued and nurtured.

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The Essential Role of Vacations for Students:  Balancing Relaxation and Productivity

Our children face today’s fast-paced and demanding academic environment.  After each term of arduous work in school, vacations play a role in ensuring their over-all well-being and development.  Vacations are not just breaks from routine, but an opportunity for both rest and productive non-academic activities.  These times are well-deserved by students, so it’s important that they are spent wisely.

So, why are vacations important for students?

First, vacations are a time for physical rest.  As the same time, they are also a time for mental rest and stress relief.  This helps prevent burnout and allows students to recharge.  This recharging and relaxation are crucial for their mental well-being.  We’ll also see that vacation breaks allow students to have a refreshed mind, which may lead to better academic performance when school re-opens. 

Next, vacations are a great time for social and family bonding.  Catching up with friends and family which are done on vacations strengthens their relationships and creates lasting memories. This social support offers them emotional stability. 

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Finally, vacations are a time for students to explore interests outside school.  They may have a day or two of just lounging around and doing nothing, but it’s good if they do something more productive.  This may contribute to personal growth and development. 

So, what productive things can they do during their holidays?  We are not talking about tuition and catching up on readings, but other fun, productive, less stressful activities. 

Vacations are an ideal time for enriching hobbies that students are passionate about.  These may be playing musical instruments, trying baking or cooking, doing digital arts, and other similar activities.  These can be both enjoyable and beneficial for personal development. 

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Next, participating in community service or volunteer work can be a great way for students to spend their vacation.  This can be a good bonding moment with family members, too, which allows plenty of teaching moments and opportunities to share one’s insights about life. 

Finally, and probably a favourite of many, travelling to new places can be done during vacations.  Travelling can be an educational experience which exposes students to different cultures.  By travelling, they can both have fun and engage their minds. 

We hope Milchelians are having a fun and productive mid-year break so that they all come back refreshed to start another term! 

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Harnessing the Internet: How Our Children Can Use the Internet Productively

In our previous post, we talked about some of the dangers that our children face online. Now, let’s talk about some of the productive ways our children can use the internet. With our guidance, they can maximize the power of the internet and use it to their advantage in our highly digitally interconnected world.

First of all, the internet is a great educational resource. Our children can access online courses on sites like Khan Academy and Coursera. They can also use educational games and apps to enhance their learning. Online resources can help them improve their math skills or learn a new language. Websites like Google Scholar, National Geographic Kids, and Britannica Kids are excellent options to explore.

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Secondly, the internet is a place where children can enhance their creativity and self-expression. Canva for Education and Wattpad are great sites for creative activities. They can create and share their digital art, writings, and multimedia projects. Starting a blog or YouTube channel can also be a fun way to express themselves. However, adult guidance is still needed for this endeavour.

Thirdly, the internet has made social connections faster and easier. Our children can stay in touch with family and friends. It’s important that they are supervised while using social media and messaging platforms. From Google Hangouts to Zoom, Facebook to Instagram, there are still dangers, so parental supervision is necessary.

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Finally, children can use the internet for career exploration. They can research various career paths and understand the skills required for different jobs. A simple Google search can direct them to numerous helpful sites that provide valuable information about their future careers.

With the right guidance, our children can use the internet safely and productively, turning it into a powerful tool for learning, creativity, connection, and career exploration.

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Responsible Digital Citizenship in Children 

Nowadays, internet is a ubiquitous tool in our lives.  It is widely used in areas like communication and social networking.  It is also used in education, e-commerce and shopping, entertainment, and work and productivity, to name a few.  For both us, adults, and our kids, the internet is a useful tool. 

As such, the world of the internet is also an area where kids need guidance as they use and explore.  The term “responsible digital citizenship” is now being commonly used.  It refers to responsible and ethical online behaviour that we all must practice.  Doing this helps us to have a healthy and safe experience in the digital world. 

There are many reasons why we parents should teach our children responsible digital citizenship.  In this article, we will talk about the most cause of concern for growing kids. 

First, addiction to gadgets and the internet is a major concern of many parents.  Excessive screen time affects children’s sleep, academics, and over-all habits, so this is a foremost concern that parents must address.  If left unchecked, this could lead to addiction that is much difficult to correct.

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Second is the spread of misinformation.  Without our guidance, children can access volumes of information online that may be untrue or just plain harmful.  It is our responsibility as adults to block suspicious sites and sources of information.  We must also teach our kids to be discerning in what they see online.  Keep an open communication so your child knows to ask you for things that they find out online.

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Finally, children must know that their actions online leave permanent digital footprint.  Educate them about the consequences of their online actions that may harm themselves or others.  A seemingly harmless post today may have consequences in the future.  Because of this, we must always remind our children to “think before you click”.

These are just some of the dangers awaiting our children online.  These are also why we should take a proactive role in educating our kids about responsible digital citizenship.  Sometimes, we parents become too relaxed in our children’s access to the internet.  This is a very serious matter that demands our watchful guidance.  Take no chances and make sure that you educate your child on how to become responsible digital citizens.   

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Instilling Responsible Spending Habits

Responsible spending habits are an essential skill that everyone must have.  As we have observed in Milchel, children have different spending habits.  Some as responsible, but others are excessive in their spending.  One this is for sure – they learned their spending habits from their parents.  Directly or indirectly, it’s the parents who have taught them whatever they know about money and spending. 

If you have young children who are just beginning to understand the concept of money and spending, now’s the good time to teach them responsibly spending.  As they say, it’s best to start them early.  At an early age, children must learn to distinguish between needs and wants.  Do they really need that new toy?  Or do they just want it?  Do they really need that insanely expensive bag?  Or do they just want it?

While we teach our children to think about their needs and wants before making a purchase, we also encourage them to think critically.  Do they really need that top of the line gadget?  Or will a mid-level one do the job?  Is it really wise to spend their pocket money for the month in just one weekend?  The more they practice critical thinking, they easier they will develop a good judgement when it comes so spending their money. 

Finally, let me circle back to the start of this article.  We said that whatever spending habits your children have, they definitely learned it from you.  So the best tip to remember in instilling responsible spending habits is to lead by example.  Whatever our children see from us are incredibly influential in our children’s attitudes towards money and spending.  That being said, reflect on your own spending habits and what your children are learning from you.  If there’s still a room for improvement, enter that room with your child and change your spending habits together. 

Over-all, it all boils down to your family’s values that you pass on to your children.  Once they know the difference between needs and wants and the importance of being reasonable in spending, they can then think critically about their spending habits.  Later, they can make good decisions about the hard-earned money that their parents regularly top-up in their pockets. 

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